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Zeus Juice: A Tailgate Monstrosity

Thou Art Wrecketh Thine Liver


"Attention passengers, this is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking. And this cold slice of heaven is my 40th Zeus Juice of the afternoon. So any of you dicknips think you can slug it down faster than me, you're welcome to get your fat asses up here to try."

-Dee Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia



Sipping cheap beer and box wine might be your idea of a fun Saturday pre-game, but have you ever heard of Zeus Juice? Nah, you haven't. Imagine the sweetest of nectars being an ungodly creation that few dare imbibe of. Ever crave a drink that will blast you in the face with the fury of a thousand keg stands? Of course you have you frat star, you tailgate junkie you. That's why I'm here to gift you with this game day monstrosity from the bowels of America's frat bunkers. Lets get ripped.


Ingredients:


  1. One gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch

  2. One handle of Vodka

  3. One Handle of Tequila

  4. One Handle of Gin

  5. One 2 liter Mountain Dew

  6. One can of Monster Energy

  7. Two cans of 4 Loko



Directions:


  1. Dump out the Hawaiian Punch, it's useless

  2. Fill the bottom of the jug up to the bottom of the label with vodka

  3. Fill an equal part tequila

  4. Fill an equal part gin

  5. Make sure that ingredients are the same color ( for ex. Blue Monster, 4 Loko, & Mountain Dew)

  6. Pour the 4 Lokos in

  7. Pour the Monster in

  8. Top off with the Mountain Dew

  9. Stir Ingredients well, and be careful of explosion from carbonation

  10. Best served cold, but game day room temp will do



As your head spins and your body quakes from the sweat inducing levels of alcohol and caffeine you've just consumed, remember to serve your tailgate guests. Sharing is caring!





*We are not legally responsible for any adverse effects resulting from consuming Zeus Juice other than your having a sick ass time


Zeus Juice TM by Graham "Wolverine" Smith & Derek "Cold Steel" Godwin

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