The NBA Rundown
Written by: Shael Plofsky
Toronto Raptors 115 @ Philadelphia 76ers 109
The six went down to Philadelphia to play against the Embiid-less Sixers once again. In this battle between rivals, Andre “Jennette McCurdy” Drummond was randomly dancing on offense as he could not put the ball in the basket. He did what he is best at, which is to grab rebounds as he had another double digit boards game. Tyrese “Gibson” Maxey kicked it into another gear and went turbo with 33 points, 5 assists, and 4 rebounds. Fred “undrafted” VanVleet played with a chip on his shoulder tonight as he scored 32 of his own points in a full stat line in this one. Precious Achiuwa continues to have one of the best names in basketball and Goran Dragic gets another DNP-CD.
Indiana Pacers 111 @ Utah Jazz 100
Seems like the Pacers were sick of hearing malice at the palace as they wanted to fight in Utah. The Pacers handed the Jazz their first home loss of the season and Myles Turner is the first person to actually fight Gobert since he touched the microphone. Malcolm “David Kelley” Brogdon wasn’t lost in this one. He continues to be gigantic for the Pacers and has turned into a sneaky all-star candidate early. He led all scorers in this one with 30 points. T.J. “Professional Aaron Craft” McConnell was the much needed spark plug off the bench as he poured in 21 points, adding 8 boards to go along with that. Gobert, Mitchell, Ingles, and Myles Turner were all ejected in this one. Myles Turner is the MVP for taking out 3 key Jazz pieces. Donovan still scored 26. Hassan Whiteside is still struggling to get his 2k rating higher.
Miami Heat 109 @ Los Angeles Clippers 112
The Miami Heat had a rough back-to-back stretch playing both teams from LA. The Clippers were powered behind Paul “Rudd” George’s 27 points and Reggie “Bush” Jackson’s 22 points. PG13 played like the anchor man of his team. Reggie Jackson played like he had an award taken from him. Both were great along with Eric “Mini LeBron” Bledsoe who also added 21 of his own. That “Mini LeBron” nickname is real by the way. Not sure who gave that to him, but they botched that one. When it comes to the Heat their offense ran through Bam all night. He had 30/11 in this one. Tyler “Perry” Herro didn’t make a three pointer but still managed to score 23 points with 7 rebounds to go along with it. Udonis Haslem is still in the league and is still on the Miami Heat.