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Updated: Oct 31, 2020

Spooky season is upon us. The big day just so happens to be on a Saturday this year. Alas, 2020 was not so promising. Nonetheless, you can use Covid as an excuse to stay in from Trick-or-Treating and giant cesspool parties to watch some damn football. *Billy Mays voice* But wait there’s more! You can make Saturday an Alco-Halloween. So sit back, turn your porchlights off, and get ready to make some witches brew.

What you will need:

Gummy Worms

Jolly Ranchers

Black Licorice

Ciroc Apple

Crown Royal Apple

Green Apple Gatorade

Mountain Dew

*Note: If you are a broke boy such as myself you may substitute with Burnett’s sour apple or whatever apple flavored potion you like

First and foremost, let’s start with the main ingredient witches and warlocks. The sacred nectar that put all of this together. Go ahead and pour as much Ciroc and Crown in your cauldron as you like. Give it a slight swirl with your black licorice and repeat your incantations, “win or lose we booze”. We’re just getting started.

Next, we have to equal out the ingredients. This is a HYDRATION SITUATION. That calls for an abundance of electrolytes to make sure those witches broom riding skills remain intact and the zombified fellas still get that brain. Pour the Green Apple electrolytes and don’t hold back.

Bubble, Bubble, toil, and trouble. We’re almost done brewing up a wicked potion. But like any good brew, it must bubble. Add the Mountain Dew until the potion is bubbling over.

Finally, Alco-Halloween is not complete without the candy. The worms will be squirming about in the brew while the Jolly Ranchers season in the bottom. Congratulations witches and warlocks, you have successfully completed Witches Brew 101. Just stir it up with the licorice and you’re ready to take off on Alco-Halloween.

*Do not consume alcohol while operating a flying broom*

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